AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, REMEMBER
THE LESS FORTUNATE.

As Simon Pyrites said:

“Lo, I say unto you that it would be easier for a large rodent like, say, a capybara, to learn to drive a lorry than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

(Simon Pyrites’ 4th unpaid bill from the off-license, vs 6-14)

GIVE GENEROUSLY TO THE CHARITABLE WORK DONE BY THE MISSION OF SIMON PYRITES

All funds donated will go to bona fide charitable institutions like:

*St Flagellante’s School for the Orphaned Daughters of the nobility

*The Adamhill College



The Simon Pyrites Mission 07939843556
thirdmissionofsimonpyrites@hotmail.com


YES! I will help! I enclose £……………… to help the invaluable work done by the mission of simon pyrites.

Please send all bank notes/cheques to:

Simon Pyrites Offshore Account
St. Helier,
Jersey
C/o Hole in the Wa’ High Street, Dumfries




NO! I Will not help. I am a bastard and will go to Hell.